Social Roles 2 of 3

Now that we understand validation from part one, and I have not heard many objections yet.  We move on to part two of this three part series, but remember this all goes back to validation.

Part two has to do with the social part of us as human beings.  How we are practically serial pack animals.  Why do I say serial pack?  I say this because we belong to multiple packs/groups.  In each of these packs or groups, we have a different role, a position so to say.  Yes, animals usually figure this out in a physical way like establishing dominance, but best to believe we still figure it out in a more humane way, usually.  Just think about your main group of friends.  I bet there is a funny one, a protector/fighter one, an attractive one, and so on and so forth.  And you’re right, one person can have multiple roles in a group. These positions validate the members of the group and their belonging.  Keep in mind each group is its own social world.  I know right now you are pretty doubtful of what I am saying, but when I mentioned those roles I bet you have a name and face to go with each one, but if you are still doubtful let me give you some examples of how this works.

Have you ever had a new person introduced to your group of friends to hangout for the night?  Did this person’s character fit the role of one of the characteristics of someone already in the group?  Of course they did, unless they were super shy because they were trying to find their position in the group without confrontation.  So let’s say they are the funny type, and you already have that character in the group. Yep that’s right - watch how those two interact together.  It will be a comedy show for sure, jokes for days, but what’s really going on is they are jockeying for position in the group.  “Hey! This group only has room for one funny guy!”  People can be supplemental if one of those personalities isn’t present.  So after the jockeying is done, it’s figured out who is the funnier of the two, but if on a different night the funnier of the two isn’t there, guess what happens.  Yep that’s right, the group supplements that role to the second funny character. This is why two people with the same personalities don’t usually get along. They are a threat to each other’s acceptance/role in the group – hence, validation.

Another example of this is relationships.  Usually this is new relationships, but nevertheless, we have all witnessed or been a part of this one.  The person you are dating is the best thing since sliced bread, until they get around their friends.  Yep total turd, well actually what you are witnessing is two different roles in two different worlds coming together.  No, never happened to you? How about this one, you tell your friend “man you’re a different person around you boyfriend/girlfriend, not cool.  I don’t like him/her?” You’ve said this before, and there you have witnessed this clashing of roles go down.

I know, I know, you are going to say, “Nope I am the same person no matter what”…but guess what?  I call bullshit all day!  Because why?...this all goes back to validation.  Yep I know you want to say something…go ahead, and if you don’t then you will for sure on part three, but you will have to wait until next week for that blog.

The Podcast To This Blog


This is the first part of a three part series.  This all has a big part into what I truly think is wrong with society.  At the end of this three part series, you will see my view on one of the biggest issues in society, and how it affects everything.  I am not saying that this is the solution to all our issues, but I think this can help us understand a big part of them.  The last part of this series we will put it all together.  In order to understand it all I think we must explore how we function, and how we go about our everyday life with understanding why we do what we do.

The first part to this three part series is validation.  Validation? You ask? I say yes validation.  I will say this is the bases of everyone’s meaning and what they do in life is for validation.  We are all searching for it.  Yes, there are those people that will say “I don’t need anyone but myself”.  I truly beg to differ. Everyone has, what I call, their line of validation.  Validation to make sure that you are still meaningful -  I know, I know, I can hear you all saying “not me, I stand on my own”. Well let me put it like this, w hen you have a really hard day who is the first person you call, or talk too? Don’t worry we all have this person, better yet not just one person, but a group of people.  Just think about this, say you are having a really tough day so you decide to call your spouse to talk, they don’t pick up, who do you call next? Maybe you call you best friend, a sibling, or even your mom.  Yes, that’s right, seems like you are searching right? Yes you are, but what are you searching for? That’s right you’re searching for validation, validation that you still matter.  

Let’s look even closer at this.  Let’s take the same situation, but your best friend answers, and you tell them what’s up and why you are down, but they happen to be all out of pick-me-up for the day.  They are actually having a down day too.  How long does that conversation last?  You got it, not very long.  It’s not that you don’t like them, but they are not giving you what you are searching for.  Sounds bad, but it’s true.  So what do you do after you talk to them? Yep, you call the next in line, your sibling, and they answer.  They happen to have a full charge of pick-me-up, so that conversation goes on, and the search for validation stops.  The crazy thing is we have different people to call for the type of validation that we want.  If you want to hear something funny to make you laugh, just think what friend you’re going to contact, if that friend isn’t available then who are you going to contact? That’s right your line of validation.

Okay so you start to think what the hell, so you are saying that I am just using people? Well, absolutely not. It’s more of a mutual thing that we call friendship/relationship. Yes I know a lot of you are going to say that I am completely wrong. I challenge you to try to challenge me on this, but don’t go too far with trying that cause like I said this is a three part series so while I will answer your challenge I won’t divulge the next part to this. Yep you got it right; you will have to wait until next blog!!!

Once again thank you for reading and I will be looking forward to your comments on this one!!!